


And in these moments I think of you (5:45 am)

by BearDoodlez



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:26:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27747457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BearDoodlez/pseuds/BearDoodlez
Summary: Wherever Seungwan goes, Joohyun will follow.OrIt's not even six in the morning and Joohyun's already prepared to risk it all.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	And in these moments I think of you (5:45 am)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!! This is cross-posted on AFF but I figured I'd put it on here too for the people that don't go on there! Enjoy!

Tonight I wanna light up the world between

you and me

Joohyun had fallen asleep around three in the morning after finally completing one of the many new manuscripts that sat on her mahogany desk. Her office was cluttered with papers, ripped up books, and too many empty cups of tea to count. It was messy and chaotic but as an author, she always worked better in disorder. The smell of her lavender tea mixed with the soft symphony of the rain hitting her windowpane lulled her to sleep curled up on the loveseat by the electric fireplace. This had been the only way that she could fall asleep recently. The bed wasn't an option, not when it was meant for two people and the couch was simply too far to walk to. Besides, she had never been very good about getting enough sleep. Well, not unless a certain blonde was curled up against her chest calmly letting out puffs of air against her neck. To others, it would seem annoying, but to Joohyun it was her own personal lullaby. A lullaby that she missed all too much. 

Seungwan had left for a business trip back at the beginning of October which coincidentally, was the last time Joohyun had slept for, and at, a reasonable time. Countless nights, just like this one, drowning in her writing and in editing the works of others, made her forget the nagging feeling of sadness she felt when Seungwan wasn't going to walk through the doors and tell her to stop working on her book or to come and cuddle with her. 

A loud crash somewhere near her window woke Joohyun from her light slumber. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she sat upright and listened for anything that would sound out of place. A beat passed. Then two. She looked at her alarm clock. 5:45 am. Too fucking early to be getting up when she had fallen asleep less than three hours ago. Just as she was about to curl up under her soft, baby blue, blanket, another crash – no, this time it sounded like a crack- sounded near the window. Cautiously, Joohyun rose from her seat and crept towards the open blinds. The rain had stopped at some point during her slumber, and as she went to peak out of the glass, she saw a clear night sky dotted with stars and the first signs of the sun starting to light up the otherwise dark sky. Peering out and into her front yard, she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Her Audi was still parked in its place, the flowers she had planted as yet another way to distract herself still swayed softly in the early morning breeze. Joohyun pushed open the window and leaned on the edge. Seungwan had always been more of the morning person out of the two of them, never failing to miss an opportunity to cook Joohyun an early morning breakfast, or to go on a run to the cliffside near the house. Gazing up at the color-changing sky, Joohyun breathed in the crisp Autumn scent, fallen leaves, and smoke from buildings smelled so similar to the scent that was present when she first met Seungwan all those years ago. 

\--------------------------------------- 

Joohyun was late. VERY late. In fact, she doesn't even remember the last time she was so late to anything so important in her life. She knew that going out for drinks with Yeri and Sooyoung last night was a mistake. The two had been unstoppable. Pouring every drink they could find into their bodies and making Joohyun drink right along with them. At first, she put up a solid fight to shut them down, but somewhere between her first shot and her tenth, she stopped trying. She wished she had had a stronger resolve because now she was paying for it. The grueling headache and light-sensitive eyes were just two of the things that made her feel like she was going to empty out her stomach into one of the trashcans that lined the streets. 

After a couple months of struggling to find a job, Joohyun had finally landed an interview with a publishing company that was interested in her novel. Being an aspiring writer was not the fairy tale that she thought it would be when she graduated from University. Weeks of barely paying her rent on time, skipping meals because she couldn't afford them, and learning how to make even the smallest bit of free shampoo samples go a long way really took a toll on her both physically and mentally. She had been within three short days of finally needing to move out of her apartment and back with her parents, when finally, someone from the many companies that she sent her transcript to, called her back. 

Sonshine publishers was a relatively well-known company having published best-selling authors like Yoo Jeongyeon and Kim Taeyeon. To say that Joohyun was surprised that they even read her draft was an understatement. This was the opportunity of a lifetime and here she was ruining it before she even had a chance. 

Rushing out of the run-down apartment, she hurried down her street to the bus stop. As she was about to reach the bus that had pulled in just a moment ago, someone bumped into her causing her to lose her balance and stumble to the ground. Collecting herself, she glanced up just as the bus began pulling away from the stop. 

Great. 

Now Joohyun was truly, and entirely, fucked. Her interview was due to start in thirty minutes and with the bus running every fifteen, there was no way she would get there in time. Realizing the gravity of the situation, and finally feeling the impending doom of losing her one lifeline interview, Joohyun began to sob quietly into her hands. Singular tears soon turned into a continuous stream as she dropped her head down further and let sobs shake her broken body. She honestly didn't care if anyone saw her like this. She felt beaten and hurt, tired to the point where getting on her feet seemed like an impossible task. Joohyun knew what this meant, she knew she would have to go back to her parents. A failure returning to her parents. Her throat began to close at the thought, chest aching as she tried to get any air into her diffusing lungs. 

"I know you don't want to, but you need to look at me and breathe," a voice broke through her thoughts, as she felt a gentle arm being placed over her shoulders. "I need you to follow my breathing," the angelic voice continued. Joohyun listened. She felt the gentle breathing of the stranger blowing against her neck and ear as she tried to sync their breathing. Her deep breaths drew in the sweet scent of the Autumn air that helped calm her racing heart. A short bit of time passed (to Joohyun, it felt like an eternity), and she finally composed herself enough to look up at the stranger that just saved her from a panic attack. A 'thank you' died out on her tongue as her eyes locked with the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Soft, worry-filled, brown eyes, gazed at her. "Are you okay?" Joohyun couldn't do anything but nod. The woman looked like a goddess walking amongst mortals. The stranger reached her hand up gently, as if not to scare Joohyun, and wiped the remaining tears off her cheeks. "Why are you crying?" The stranger tried again. 

This time Joohyun let out a shaky exhale and began telling the woman her situation. She didn't know why, but this woman's aura made her feel the safest that she had in a long time. Joohyun told her about her rent, the lack of meals, her interview, everything. As she finished, the stranger had a small smile playing on her lips. 

"I'm sure people are understanding of certain scenarios, I wouldn't give up hope just yet..." The woman trailed off silently reminding Joohyun that she didn't even know her name. 

"Joohyun, my name is Joohyun." 

"Joohyun," the blonde muttered, nodding slightly. The woman helped her up from her knees and looked at the bus coming down the street. "Well Joohyun, we have a bus to catch and you have an interview to get to." With her hand still wrapped around Joohyun's shoulders, the woman pulled her to the stop and then on to the bus. Before Joohyun could pay, the woman swiped her bus card twice and nudged Joohyun to sit in a seat. "It's okay," was all the stranger said. 

Too dazed from the weird turn of events, Joohyun just sat there quietly occasionally glancing at the beautiful woman standing next to her. Now that she had gotten her thoughts back together, she could finally take in the woman's full appearance. Short blonde hair framed a relatively slim face with plump cheeks, she looked like some sort of businesswoman, dressed in a full navy blue pantsuit and white heels. Joohyun was a little interested, she had to admit it.

Within a couple of minutes, they arrived at the stop that was right across from the publishing company. The gentle hand that had been drawing calming circles on her back the whole ride, pulled away as the woman wordlessly made her way to the bus doors. Quickly gathering her things, Joohyun went to follow her so she could thank her for everything but too many other passengers got in her way. Before she got out and looked around, her savior had already vanished. 

Remembering the stranger's words and shaking off the disappointment, Joohyun ran through the spinning doors of the company and up to the secretary's desks. The woman at the desk stared at her, she probably looked like a deranged mess, but she didn't care, She NEEDED this.

"I am so sorry I'm late I missed my bus but I'm here for an interview. I know it might be too late, but I was really hoping to get a chance and-" 

"Miss Bae?" The secretary calmly cut her rambling off. 

"Yes," Joohyun said, letting her shoulders sag. 

"It's your lucky day Ms. Bae, Ms. Son just got to the office a minute ago herself," the secretary, with 'Ms. Kang' written on her nameplate, looked at her. "Why don't you go wash yourself up in the bathroom as you wait for Ms. Son to call you into her office." Joohyun blinked a couple of times before getting out an incoherent thank you and rushing into the bathroom. The savior was right, she shouldn't have given up hope. 

A couple minutes, a new face of makeup, and a raised spirit later, Ms. Kang lead her into the elevator and up to a large office. As the doors opened to reveal her interviewer, Joohyun's jaw dropped. 

"Ms. Bae, I believe we've already met," THAT angelic voice spoke up. "My name is Son Seungwan, and I believe we have an interview to get to?" 

\--------------------------------------- 

Joohyun chuckles lightly to herself as she remembers that day. The interview, to no one's surprise, went well and a contract was written up that same day. Her book had been accepted by the company and not only had she gained a new job, but Joohyun also got a girlfriend out of it. A girlfriend that she now missed. 

"Are you gonna stare at the stupid sky the whole day or can I get some attention too?" the same angelic voice that had saved her all those years ago rung out. Whipping her head down, Joohyun saw her girlfriend standing below the window in a long coat and jeans. "I'm seriously starting to get jealous here." 

Tears started to well up in her eyes as she gazed at Seungwan. She hadn't seen the other woman in almost two months. Two months that felt like forever. "What're you doing here Wannie," Joohyun choked out, tears spilling out of her tired eyes. 

Seungwan's expression softened as she took in the sight of her crying girlfriend. "I'm surprising my baby with a sunrise date," Seungwan said, raising the bag of food she had in her hand. "Come down, I don't want to miss it." She finished quietly. 

Granted, Joohyun was the last person that would willingly wake up at 5:45 am under any circumstances. She would much rather be sleeping under a mountain of blankets, tucked away, and dreaming of a paradise somewhere far away. But Joohyun was Joohyun and when there was a Seungwan waiting for her right outside her house with soft eyes and even softer lips, she would be willing to go wherever, whenever. 

Running down the stairs, Joohyun grabbed her coat and slipped on a pair of converse. The thought that Seungwan was just outside their front door drove her to almost crash face-first into the marble floor. As she burst out of the doors, Seungwan was already waiting for her with a wide smile and outstretched arms. The last few feet between her and Seungwan were gone in an instant as she flew into the welcoming embrace. Seungwan's arms enveloped her into a warm hug and Joohyun felt herself relaxing for the first time in a long time. Her lover smelled like freshly brewed coffee, the remnants of the perfume she usually wore, and coconut shampoo. She smelled like heaven. Pulling away slightly, Joohyun leaned up to press her lips delicately on Seungwan's. A warm feeling bloomed in her chest as they kissed under the morphing sky and fading stars. 

Seungwan was the one to pull away after a bit just enough to rest her forehead on Joohyuns. "Hyun, we have to go, or we'll miss it," Joohyun heard Seungwan mumble out, her eyes still closed from the kiss. A firm hand slipped into hers as she followed Seungwan to her car. After a few more kisses, Joohyun let herself be gently pushed into the passenger seat of her car and they set off to their usual destination. "You can sleep a little, my love, I'll wake you up when we get there," Seungwan said, giving a knowing look as Joohyun let out a yawn. Joohyun only shook her head in return.

"You're an idiot if you think I'm gonna waste even a second of being awake when you're finally back." 

\--------------------------------------- 

A few months into dating, Joohyun finally grew the balls to ask Seungwan to stay the night. 

After a lovely dinner that consisted of a little too much wine, the two had called an Uber to pick them up and drop them off at Joohyun's new apartment complex. After the success of her first novel, she had finally managed to move out of the roach-infested, one-room apartment she used to call home. Her new flat was much nicer, practically the perfect opposite of her old one. It had clean cream walls and actual furniture that she had picked out with the help of Yeri. The younger woman had offered up her services willingly stating it was "good practice" for her actual clients. All Joohyun had to say after looking at her apartment was, interior design was 100 percent the perfect job for Yerim. 

The pair stumbled through her door lips clashing together in a searing kiss as Joohyun pined Seungwan against the wall. She felt Seungwan's tongue swipe at her lower lip and gladly opened her mouth to allow the shorter woman in. The second that her lover's tongue met hers, she heard Seungwan let out a low moan that shook Joohyun down to her core. Grabbing at Seungwan's thighs, she signaled the shorter woman to jump up. Joohyun felt her hop into her arms, and immediately her hands went to rest on Seungwan's ass, squeezing the jean covered flesh slightly as she turned and carried her to the velvety couch. Laying her down, Joohyun pulled back to gaze at Seungwan. The blonde's cheeks were flushed a soft pink and otherwise soft brown eyes suddenly burned black as she stared. 

"I think," Joohyun panted out, "you should stay the night." Joohyun waited for a response but none came. Instead, she felt Seungwan wrap her arms around the back of her neck and pull her flush against the body below her. That was an answer enough. 

After countless kisses, gasps, and moans, the lovers laid wrapped under the throw blankets that Joohyun had placed on top of them somewhere in the middle of her deep exploration of Seungwan's body. She felt dainty fingers start drawing shapes on her chest as she pressed closer to Seungwan. She felt drunk. Well, she was actually drunk, but Joohyun felt drunk on Seungwan. The CEO's everything took control of her senses. Seungwan's taste lingered in her mouth, her scent crept up her nose each time she inhaled, and most notably, her beautiful body was pressed against her in such a way that fit her own body perfectly. When the fingers on her chest slowly started to get slower, Joohyun glanced down and watched with a small smile as Seungwan tried to fight off sleep just a little while longer. 

"You can sleep now you know? I don't think we're gonna do anything else," Joohyun said as she carefully pushed away some of the baby hairs that stuck to her lover's forehead. 

Seungwan looked up at her, the lazy look in her eyes hitting Joohyun like a gust of sea breeze, and reached up to grab Joohyun's hand. "I'd rather be awake when I'm with you." 

\--------------------------------------- 

They rode in comfortable silence, the only sound that could be heard was the hum of the engine. Lights passed by and soon buildings began to be replaced with trees and then with nothing. Seungwan drove them up to the edge of the cliff, their cliff. 

"It's almost time love," Seungwan gently called out to her as she put the car in park and grabbed the food from the back seat. Putting her coat on, Joohyun followed her girlfriend out of the car and to the silky grass field that covered the edges of the cliffside. Below them, the rhythmic crashing of waves could be heard as the sea met the rocky formations. It wasn't the ideal time of year to come to the cliff. Late November had come and set in a chilly breeze that felt even colder without the sun shining down on them. Not that Joohyun really cared though, she had her Seungwannie to warm her up. 

As if reading her mind, Seungwan opened the blanket that she brought with them and threw it around her shoulders, inviting Joohyun in to cuddle with her as they laid in the grass. 

After comfortably situating herself beside (more like on top) of Seungwan, Joohyun finally had the time to think about what was happening. Seungwan was here. She was here in the flesh, but she shouldn't be. Her business trip was supposed to last until at least the beginning of December as the publishing company was trying to build a new branch overseas. 

"Why are you here Wannie?" 

"I didn't think my presence would bother you, my love," Seungwan let out a chuckle that sounded more like a low rumble to Joohyun whose ear was pressed against Seungwan's chest. She gently punched the blonde below her as they both giggled. "The deal closed early, the investors were sold practically as soon as I mentioned that both you and Taeyeon were coming out with new books soon. With you two along with Sooyoung starting to get a bit bigger in the writing world, I had a hard time pushing away new investors. Everyone was more than willing to support the new branch." 

Joohyun hummed out a response as she snuggled closer to the human heater under her. The company had been doing exceptionally well in the past two to three years. Joohyun's first novel was huge, putting her on the radar as the new big shot author in the making. Her second novel had done okay, nothing special, but her third... her third novel became the best-selling novel from the company to date in just the span of a year. She became a household name all over the world overnight. 

Of course, with that fame, the company also started to expand. Seungwan had to work late hours making sure every employee was reading manuscripts, answering emails, and just in general, working hard enough to support the new growth of the company. Meetings piled up and soon, Joohyun barely saw her partner outside of a few fleeting moments where they slept together. Sometimes not even that. Business trips also started to become more and more frequent, both having to be out of the house for extended periods of time. 

As Joohyun gazed at the rising sun, she subconsciously tightened her hold on Seungwan who returned the hug just as tightly. 

\--------------------------------------- 

Joohyun's birthday party was everything she had wanted. Almost everything. Her friends were all there, her parents and sister had even flown in to celebrate with her, and her third book had just broken a million copies sold that day. Still, Joohyun couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Seungwan had been MIA all day. No call, text, or voicemail. 

"Honey I think Seulgi might eat your cake if you don't come get some," her mom let out softly as she came to join Joohyun on the apartment's balcony. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon casting a golden glow across the city below. 

"Do you think she forgot?" 

The question hung in the air as Joohyun slowly turned to her mother. 

"I don't know sweetie, but I do know that Seungwan loves you very much." 

Joohyun was about to scoff at her mother's answer when screams pierced the air. 

"JOOHYUN, SEULGI DROPPED THE CAKE," Sooyoung yelled out. Leaving the conversation unfinished, Joohyun quickly ran into her apartment momentarily forgetting about her aching heart. 

Seulgi had dropped the cake, but thankfully her dad came to the rescue. Her father had picked up two cakes on accident, so the crisis was avoided, and they all sat on the couches in Joohyun's living room listening to music and laughing at one of Yeri's many stories from her work. Joohyun was grateful for them, they saved her from having a lonely birthday. 

As she bid goodnight to her family and friends, the familiar feeling of loneliness started to seep in. The past couple weeks had dragged along, Seungwan's trip to London had been extended four times causing her to miss Joohyun's novel drop and her birthday. Joohyun didn't care about those things though, to her they were all trivial. What Joohyun missed was the cuddling, or simply just the presence of the shorter woman running around the kitchen as Joohyun wrote on her laptop on the kitchen table. The sound of her Spotify playlist would flow out from the speakers and her girlfriend would softly hum to the songs. Seungwan had an amazing voice, and she was one of the only people to hear it. Those moments weren't trivial to Joohyun, they were special. They were hers. No, they were theirs. 

As the final minutes of her birthday ticked away, Joohyun looked down tiredly at her phone. No new texts from Seungwan. Putting it down, she walked into her bedroom and got ready for bed. 

"Happy birthday Joohyunnie," she muttered to herself as the clock on her bedside table struck midnight. 

The following days were not much better. Seungwan called her to apologize for missing her birthday but had to hang up not even five minutes later for another meeting. Even the times that Seungwan DID have time, Joohyun felt something was off with the CEO and that scared her. 

Exactly two weeks after her birthday, she finally figured out why her girlfriend had felt so off. 

At first, the conversation was normal, Seungwan asked about her day and told her about hers, the CEO mentioned all the clients she was meeting and the new people that wanted to support the company, but then Seungwan asked to FaceTime her. Swallowing down the ball of anxiety that was slowly creeping its way out of her throat, Joohyun hit the call button on Seungwan's contact. A couple moments later, Seungwan's tired face popped up on the screen, she looked stressed. Seungwan cleared her throat and greeted Joohyun with a quick 'hello'. The sound of Seungwan's sleepy voice made Joohyun's heart lurch in her chest. She missed waking up and going to sleep to that voice. 

"Hyun, I think there's something we need to talk about," Seungwan started, looking anywhere but the screen. Joohyun felt the anxiety in her stomach and chest grow. "I don't think we're okay right now, do you?" Joohyun refused to answer her, not trusting her voice. "Listen, you know I love you more than anything-" but, there was always a but that followed - "but, we don't see each other anymore and this is hurting both of us more than helping us. I won't be home for another month and," Seungwan's voice trembled, "maybe it would be better if we just stopped... I don't think we're worth the pain." 

In two of her novels Joohyun had written about heartbreak, the stinging feeling of a heart being torn into a thousand pieces, however, was foreign to her until this moment. Her lover's words cut through her like several knives, all chopping up her fragile heart. She didn't even register anything after that, tears started to well up in her eyes as she numbly watched Seungwan try to speak to her. She didn't care to listen. It was over. Her ears started ringing, her whole body started shaking, and her chest heaved in such a way that she thought she was going to die. Joohyun must have subconsciously hung up on Seungwan, not needing, not wanting, to hear any more. It wasn't until her phone lit up with text messages from her now ex-lover that she snapped out of her numbed stupor. 

"I'm taking a few steps back Joohyun. I can't love you anymore." 

"I think you should move one. We can't communicate well." 

As the sun rose, Joohyun sobbed out into the morning air. It was over. 

\--------------------------------------- 

For a while, they just sat there silently watching the sun crawl higher above the water, content with just the presence of one another. Seungwan sat them both up and positioned Joohyun between her legs so she could feel Seungwan's front against her back. A thudding heartbeat could be felt through the layers of clothing as she pushed herself deeper into the embrace. Fall air along with the ocean breeze was reason enough to justify why she needed to be as close as possible. A low rumble from Joohyun's stomach disturbed their silence.

"I'm hungry," Joohyun pouted. She hadn't eaten since the morning prior, not expecting to get so into editing her new book and definitely not expecting her girlfriend to steal her away from the house. 

"Well, you're lucky. I made the Uber wait outside of the bakery when I picked up our food, the driver was such a nice old man and said I was his last ride so he didn't mind stopping somewhere when I mentioned you," Seungwan said as she grabbed the bag and pulled out an assortment of baked goods. "Perks of having a famous girlfriend I guess," Seungwan added with a wink.

The aroma from the bag was overwhelming. The sweet smell of melted chocolate and flakey dough invaded her senses as she buried her face into the brown paper bag. "I got your favorites and I also got you your morning tea," Seungwan added. At the mention of her favorite drink, Joohyun's head perked up and a grin made its way onto her face. She craned her neck upwards to leave a light kiss on Seungwan's lips before she grabbed a chocolate croissant and started happily munching on it. The sun was now a little higher, fully emerged from the water horizon in the distance. Different hues of pink, orange, yellow, and red all danced happily together in the sky blending into a beautiful sunrise for her and her girlfriend to watch. The cumulus clouds reflected the colors brightly, their puffy and cotton-like structure dotting the sky above. Joohyun may not be a morning person, but she would never say no to watching a sunrise with Seungwan. 

As she looked up, said woman was busy devouring a pecan twist while watching the sunrise as well. Joohyun admired her quietly. Seungwan's brown eyes shined a brilliant chestnut in the morning glow, her skin soaking up the early rays of the sun, the short and scruffy blonde hair that was usually let down messily was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked beautiful. The angelic woman must have felt her stare because she looked down and gave Joohyun one of her signature Seungwan smiles. Reaching up, Joohyun wore a matching smile as she wiped a few stray crumbs away from the soft lips. 

"What're you thinking of Hyun?" 

"How much I love you." 

\--------------------------------------- 

Working in the same company as her ex turned out to be easier than she thought it would be. Joohyun was never in town at the same time as Seungwan and while she did think it was a little suspicious that their schedules were SO polar opposite, she didn't question it. Any time away from Seungwan was good for her and she knew that the CEO probably felt the same. 

The first couple of weeks without Seungwan were terrible. Sleepless nights had turned into sleepless weeks and food became more of a nuisance than a necessity. If she had continued the way she was going, Joohyun knew she'd wither away into an empty shell sooner or later, she couldn't help it, that's how she felt without Seungwan. It wasn't until Sooyoung, Seulgi, and Yeri staged an intervention that she finally managed to turn her life around. 

"You are so pathetic." 

"Thank you, Soo, I really needed that," Joohyun grumbled out as she opened her apartment door for her friends. 

"No, I'm serious. Award-winning writer Bae Joohyun is wallowing away in self-pity instead of living her best life. Pathetic," Sooyoung said as she pushed herself into the apartment behind Seulgi and Yeri. "How long have you locked yourself in here?" 

Before Joohyun could bite back at her younger friend, Yeri's voice came from somewhere inside the apartment. "OH MY GOD, what DIED in here?!" Joohyun let Sooyoung drag her into her apartment and as they rounded the corner, they saw Yeri and Seulgi standing above a mountain of blankets, tissues, and discarded fast-food boxes. "Joohyun, you do know this is REFINED leather, right??" Yeri shrieked as she gestured at the poor couch. 

"Hyun, you need to get it together. We all think you're only hurting yourself more living like this. Life doesn't stop just because of Wan..." Seulgi trailed off giving her friend a look full of pity. "You need to move on." 

Joohyun scoffed, "She said that too, thanks for the advice, but I don’t need to hear it coming from someone who still sees her from time to time." 

"I told you Joohyun, I can't just tell her to change her mind," Seulgi reasoned. "It wouldn't-"

"Yeah yeah, 'it wouldn't be right'," Joohyun cut her off. "Well, you know what else isn't right?" She marched up to Seulgi, jabbing a finger at her, "being a shitty friend."

A look of hurt flashed across Seulgi's face but before Joohyun could say anything else, Sooyoung slammed her hands on the coffee table. "Joohyun this is enough. We have let you pity yourself for WEEKS inside this apartment. We gave you space and time to try and heal, but you aren't even trying to. Seungwan won't come back to you like this," Sooyoung gestured at the messy apartment. "You need to figure yourself out and think," Sooyoung rounded the table on her best friend. "You are Bae Joohyun, not some sorry excuse of a hermit. So tell me, do you want her back?" 

Joohyun nodded softly. 

"Then let's get to work, shall we?" 

A couple of days of cleaning and going out later, Joohyun was 'ready', according to Yeri, to face Seungwan again. She was supposed to march into the CEO's office and show her what she was missing out on. Seulgi had helped her pick out an outfit to wear and as she was putting on the finishing touches, a loud knock sounded at her door. Clicking her earring in place, Joohyun walked over and opened it. 

Seungwan. 

She was there, right in front of her.

She looked... gaunt. Previously lively eyes were now bleak and vacant. 

"Hi..." Even her voice sounded desolate. "Can we talk?" 

Joohyun just stared at her. Unable to move. 

"Please Joohyun..." 

Her body acted on autopilot and pushed the door open to let the other woman in. She followed her to the living room where they both sat and just looked at each other. Neither being able to tear their eyes away from each other. Drinking in the sight of their other half after all this time. 

"I think I'm going to step down from the CEO position," Seungwan's voice broke the silence. "I chose work over something so much more important and it almost killed me. I can't do it to myself anymore. Everything I ever wanted was finally being put into place, the company was thriving, your book as doing so well, everyone wanted to work with you... I just wanted-" Seungwan's voice broke "- I just wanted to make sure you were happy, and I lost sight of what truly made you, what made us, happy." 

No amount of time could prepare Joohyun for this. Her lover, her soulmate, her Wannie, sitting in front of her looking so broken and defeated. Seungwan's explanation made sense and sure, there was still anger and hurt left in her body, but at least she knew what had gone on in Seungwan's mind. She couldn't fight the urge anymore and as Seungwan started to sob harder, Joohyun launched forward crashing her lips against the others. Teeth clashed against each other and tears streamed down both of their faces, but she didn't care. Seungwan was here ready to drop everything for her.

"I love you I'm so sorry I love you," Seungwan mumbled in between kisses. 

They still had a long way to go to get back to where they were, but this was a start. Even though Joohyun would never let Seungwan drop her job title because of her, the offer was enough. She kissed the blonde harder trying to push every last emotion she had felt over the last weeks into the kiss.

"I love you too." 

\--------------------------------------- 

The sun was much higher in the sky now, bright oranges and yellows now being replaced by a baby blue. The waves still crashed below them, and the wind still blew calmly. Seungwan had suggested for them to go on a little stroll to the peak of the cliff and Joohyun being Joohyun was in no position to object. 

Their intertwined hands swung gently between them as they walked, Seungwan using her free hand to gesticulate animatedly as she told Joohyun stories about the different people she had to deal with in Switzerland. Joohyun loved this about Seungwan, it's what made them work. She was talkative and expressive and sometimes just a little too loud while Joohyun was quiet, reserved, and always more inclined to listen. Besides, listening to Seungwan was easy and in Joohyun's opinion, the other woman was a better storyteller than her, but she'd never tell Seungwan that. 

Arriving at the cliff, Joohyun looked around at the view, the cliffside had always been a serene place for her and Seungwan. Countless night dates, sunset or sunrise dates, and just some afternoon jogging dates had all taken place here. She felt Seungwan gently pull at her hand and let herself be brought into another lazy kiss. When they parted, she leaned her forehead against the slightly shorter woman's and let a dopey smile bloom on her face. 

" It's so pretty, Hyun, let me take a picture of you," Seungwan said as she pushed Joohyun in front of her a little. "Turn around and look out at the ocean." 

Joohyun did as she was told, still slightly high from the feeling of Seungwan's lips against hers, and looked out at the ocean. She heard some shuffling behind her and then the sound of an iPhone camera clicking. Turning back around, the smile on her face dropped and a soft gasp left her lips as she took in the scene in front of her. Somehow, Seungwan materialized roses out of thin air and as she handed them to Joohyun, she slowly lowered herself down to one knee. Immediately, more tears started springing to her eyes. She always knew that they would get married at some point, but she didn't know it would be sooner than later.

"Joohyun," Seungwan began her voice a little shaky. "I'm not the best with words, you're the author between us, but I'm gonna try okay? Just hear me out," a chuckle left the kneeling woman's lips. "I still remember the Autumn breeze on the day I first saw you, I didn't know why I felt like I needed to help you but I'm so glad I did. I still remember the way you trembled under me on the first night that I stayed at your apartment. I was already so in love with you that even sleep was an enemy for me, it meant time away from you. I still remember the day I broke up with you, I don't think about it often, but it's still a memory that haunts me. I still remember the day I went to your apartment to talk to you, the look on your face, I knew I looked ghostly but it's because I couldn't live without you.-" a deep breath "- I still can't live without you." At this point, Joohyun was full-on crying her hands frantically trying to wipe tears away from her eyes so she could look at Seungwan. She watched as Seungwan reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a box. "I know I'm not perfect, I think nobody thinks their perfect enough for their partner, but I promise to try and become perfect for you. I know it's a lot to ask, especially when I woke you up so early for this, but Joohyun, Bae Joohyun the love of my life, will you marry me?" Seungwan finished, Joohyun saw her hands shaking as she opened the ring box. 

\--------------------------------------- 

After getting back together, Joohyun felt their relationship grow immensely in just a short amount of time. Before she knew it six months together turned into a year and then two. Soon enough, the people around them had begun teasing them with the thought of marriage. First, it was just Sooyoung being Sooyoung, then it was Yeri and Seulgi joining in pestering them with questions, and finally, both Joohyun's and Seungwan's parents started dropping hints. Whenever someone around them brought it up, she could feel her cheeks turn pink and watched as Seungwan's did the same. However, the answer was always the same, "Whenever the time is right." 

One night as they were wrapped around each other in their shared bed, Joohyun felt Seungwan shift around restlessly behind her. 

"Wannie," she whispered out. "Why aren't you asleep?" 

A beat passed and then a sigh. "What's your dream proposal like?" 

Joohyun couldn't help but laugh, "This is what's keeping you awake?" She heard Seungwan mumble something and punch her gently as she laughed. "Well for starters, you have to be there. I don't want anyone else in this world to propose to me." Joohyun thought for a second. A perfect proposal? The more she thought the clearer it came to her. "I really don't care as long as it's you Wannie. We could be at our cliff, or just in our room, or a fancy hotel, it doesn't matter as long as it's you. You're it for me." She let her answer hang in the air as she shuffled lightly to cuddle into her girlfriend placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head.

"Goodnight Wannie." 

\--------------------------------------- 

Joohyun tried to muffle the sobs that were threatening to escape her throat. " Is this why you asked for my dream proposal a couple of months ago?? I can't believe you." Without any more words, she kneeled to Seungwan's level and kissed her. They had kissed so many times over the course of their relationship, but this one felt special, it felt new. The type of new that signified a beginning to something. A beginning to their forever. 

"So, is that a yes?" she felt Seungwan muffled words against her lips. 

"Yes, it'll always be a yes to you." 

For the past four years, Seungwan had been her pillar and her greatest success in life. They had traveled to so many countries, experienced all different types of food, and made so many memories as a couple. No book, no brand deal, nothing, could amount to the love she shared with her girlf- no, her fiancé. Looking back at everything that had happened between them, Joohyun couldn't help but feel so overwhelmed with love and happiness. In any moment and in every moment, Joohyun was willing to go anywhere as long as she was with Seungwan. 

Even if they were apart, in every moment she thought of her. 

Oh girl come and light me up,

Please brighten the dark world

Light me, light me, here, please hold my hand.

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**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Catch me on Twitter @ Seuldoodle and curious cat @ jeongrene!


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